Want to know what's hot? If so, the Department for Culture, Media, and Sport in Great Britain has come up with this handy definition:

Food or drink supplied on or from any premises is "hot" for the purposes of this Schedule if the food or drink, or any part of it,-- (a) before it is supplied, is heated on the premises or elsewhere for the purpose of enabling it to be consumed at a temperature above the ambient air temperature and, at the time of supply, is above that temperature, or (b) after it is supplied, may be heated on the premises for the purpose of enabling it to be consumed at a temperature above the ambient air temperature.

In other words (and we're just guessing here), "hot" is anything warmer than, well, not hot.

Call it whatever you like: deadwood, gobbledygook, hogwash, or balderdash. (Our polite word for it is clutter.) Last year, this remarkably bureaucratic definition of "hot" was honored with a Golden Bull award from the Plain English Campaign.

An outfit quartered in England but with members in more than 80 countries, the Plain English Campaign describes itself, simply enough, as "an independent pressure group fighting for public information to be written in plain English." All we can say is, "Hooray!"

In addition to bestowing Golden Bulls, the group hands out an annual Foot in Mouth award "for a baffling quote from a public figure." Donald Rumsfeld nailed this one in 2004 with a remark that ended with, "There are also unknown unknowns—the ones we don't know we don't know."

Wisely, the Campaign for Plain English also calls attention to instances of clear and concise communications. Awards go to journalists, government officials, and web designers who have "successfully and passionately . . . fought gobbledygook." This year's awards will take place in London on December 12--also known as Plain English Day.

Until then, let's keep it simple.