Mother o' Mercy, Is This the End of the Apostrophe?
Our recent entry on The Campaign to Abolish the Apostrophe has stirred up a bit of a ruckus. Readers on both sides of the mark have been slinging examples and insults so passionately that we've decided to seek protection from the grammar police before considering other controversial topics--the accent aigu in French loan words, for instance, or the use of "hopefully" as a sentence adverb.
For some, the apostrophe stands (or hangs) as a small emblem of literacy, its decline a sign of eroding social values. "Shape up or ship out," one reader advised, without making clear just where we might ship those who abuse or disregard the mark.
"Hogwash and flapdoodle!" cry the anti-apostrophe crowd. Like the penny (which now costs more than one cent to produce), the apostrophe survives on sentiment that's quite disproportionate to its value.
One reader, London-based writer and composer Tim Saward, has demonstrated the strength of his convictions by fashioning a website subtly titled Kill the Apostrophe. Because the mark "serves only to annoy those who know how it is supposed to be used and to confuse those who dont," he insists that it deserves to die.
Whether or not you agree with Tim, visit his website to read some engaging arguments. Sympathizers will be rewarded with a "Kill the Apostrophe" button. Defenders of the mark are encouraged to accept his challenge to provide "a sure fire example of a sentence where (for instance) 'we'll' and 'well' or 'we're' and 'were' can be mixed up in a way that actually has an impact in the real world."
In the meantime, we persist in our awkward efforts to appease both the descriptive and the prescriptive wings of the grammar party. If all you're looking for is a straightforward explanation of how to use apostrophes, check out these six simple guidelines.
Apostrophe Update:
Swatting Apostroflies
Comments
It may interest you to know that at least one of my students (and I am an art teacher….!) insists on the correct use of the apostrophe, even in SMS!!!!!! She is just coming up to 20, so all is not lost.
How can these idiots say that well will be understood as we’ll when we know the context? The English language is confusing enough in so many respects – just think of the number of pronunciations of “ough” – cough, rough, though, through, thought, bough -and I’m sure I have forgotten some!
English suffers enough as it is at the hands of people who cannot spell, use grammar and punctuate without us giving in to their paucity.
But……….then again….perhaps if we go along with it, we will be spared the ignoramuses who put notices outside their greengrocer shops proclaiming “potatoe’s for sale”!!!!
Felicity
I can’t speak for everyone, but as a writer who occasionally has to have a character break his or her sentence before it is ended, I do not think anyone would understand if any of my characters suddenly shrieked out “Well” instead of “We’ll” when his or her original intent had been to say “We’ll go that way!”
It saddens me that anyone could wish harm upon a punctuation mark that I have become quite fond of. =(
I think the apostrophe could be eliminated with little loss of meaning. After that, we’ll get rid of the semicolon; then we’ll destroy other antiquated punctuation marks, the comma and the period.
Those who would ban the apostrophe are willing to see us return to the days of the papyrus. The primary reason no one can be absolutely certain of the translation of any portion of Biblical text is because there were no spaces or punctuation. In modern terms, it was written in IM. The very same crowd that is trying to abolish civilized communication now. At the very root of it all – is laziness. They don’t want to be bothered to use it correctly, so they want to force everyone to stop using it at all. Just like in the movie “Ideocracy” – society is being reduced to the LOWEST common denominator.
A’right, then…I have to agree that the apostrophe is constantly abused (a billboard that stood outside of my place of business for a couple of years comes to mind) but you’ve gotta be kidding me! We should get rid of the apostrophe…because people are to lazy to learn how to use it properly? It’s really not that difficult, folks, and that’s coming from someone who is lazy to a fault. The apostrophe is a wonderful tool for adding color to speech while communicating via SMS or instant messaging. It allows one to put some personalization into their “speech” when all they have to work with is a quick burst of text. So, sure, I s’pose it’s just my opinion, all’s I’m sayin’ is that we should expand its use, not abolish the beautiful thing. Oh…and can we please start fining people for misusing quotation “marks”?