As noted in our Introduction to Sentence Combining, the primary goal of exercises in sentence building and combining is not to produce longer sentences but rather to develop more effective ones. The following recombining exercise demonstrates that breaking down a long sentence into two or three shorter ones can help make our writing clearer and easier to read.
This exercise (like the exercise Identifying Prepositional Phrases) has been adapted from the first paragraph of Chapter 29 of John Steinbeck's novel The Grapes of Wrath (1939). In the exercise, the author's original 18 sentences have been rearranged and combined into seven longer sentences. Your job is to untangle these seven sentences by, first, breaking them down into a series of short sentences, and then recombining them, as shown below:
Sentence
The gray clouds marched brokenly in from the ocean and over the high coast mountains and over the valleys, in puffs, in folds, in gray crags, and they piled in together and they settled low over the west.
Broken Down
The clouds marched in from the ocean.
The clouds were gray.
The clouds marched over the high coast mountains.
The clouds marched over the valleys.
The clouds came in brokenly.
The clouds came in puffs.
The clouds came in folds.
The clouds came in gray crags.
They piled in together.
They settled low over the west.
Recombined
Over the high coast mountains and over the valleys the gray clouds marched in from the ocean. They came in brokenly, in puffs, in folds, in gray crags; and they piled in together and settled low over the west.
Feel free to change the order of the sentences as you recombine them. (If you run into any problems while recombining the sentences, you may find it helpful to review Introduction to Sentence Combining and Sentence Building With Prepositional Phrases.) Keep in mind that your aim is to create a series of clear and effective sentences. That doesn't mean you have to try to reconstruct Steinbeck's original sentences exactly as they appeared in The Grapes of Wrath: many combinations are possible.
Exercise: The Flood
- The gray clouds marched brokenly in from the ocean and over the high coast mountains and over the valleys, in puffs, in folds, in gray crags, and they piled in together and they settled low over the west.
- The wind blew fiercely and silently, high in the air, and it swished in the brush, and it roared in the forests, and then the wind stopped and left the clouds deep and solid.
- The rain began with gusty showers, pauses and downpours, and then gradually it settled to a single tempo, small drops and a steady beat, rain that was gray to see through, rain that cut midday light to evening, and at first the dry earth sucked the moisture down and blackened.
- For two days the earth drank the rain, until the earth was full, and then puddles formed, and in the low places muddy little lakes formed in the fields and rose higher, and the steady rain whipped the shining water until at last the mountains were full, and the hillsides spilled into the streams, built them to freshets, and sent them roaring down the canyons into the valleys.
- The rain beat on steadily, and the streams and the little rivers edged up to the sides and worked at willows and tree roots, bent the willows deep in the current, cut out the roots of cottonwoods, and brought down the trees.
- Along the bank sides the muddy water whirled and crept up the banks until at last it spilled over, into the fields, into the orchards, into the cotton patches where the black stems stood, and level fields became lakes, broad and gray, where the rain whipped up the surfaces.
- Then as the earth whispered under the beat of the rain and the streams thundered under the churning freshets, the water poured down the highways, and cars moved slowly, cutting the water ahead, and leaving a boiling muddy wake behind.
If you're interested in comparing your new sentences with those created by Steinbeck in The Grapes of Wrath, see "The Flood."
