Congratulations to the Bishop of Blackburn, England, for picking up a 2011 Golden Bull award last Friday. The Right Reverend's prize specimen of legalese appeared in a letter to his flock:
. . . AND WHEREAS We have consented to the said period being so brought to an end and to the exercise of such right of presentation NOW WE HEREBY DECLARE that the said period shall come to an end on the date hereof and that the said vacancy in the said Benefice of Ansdell and Fairhaven Saint Paul in Our said Diocese of Blackburn may thereupon be filled . . .Awarded by the Plain English Campaign (an organization based in the U.K. but with members in more than 80 countries), Golden Bulls go to "the year's 'best' examples of gobbledygook"--such as this impenetrable adjustment letter from the budget airline Flybe:
I believe that what has not been explained to you is that it is not a £4.50 card charge, in the process of booking a flight, you will have a booking fee which is for a Credit Card (return journey), booking fee £4.50 and Credit Card supplement £1.00, for a (one way) booking fee £5.50 and credit card charge £1.00.
Concerning a Debit Card (return flight) booking fee £4.50 and there is no additional fee for a Debit Card. for a (one way) booking fee £5.50 with no additional Debit Card charge. If you which any more details about our charges, you can call our call centre on 0871 700 2000 / 01392 268500 (from outside the UK) (calls cost 10p per minute; calls from mobiles and some networks may be higher) and one of our agent will be happy to assist you.
Regards
Flybe
The Plain English Campaign describes itself as a pressure group "fighting against the use of jargon and gobbledygook in public information." Fortunately, its annual awards ceremony isn't entirely negative. In addition to bestowing Golden Bulls on serious offenders, the Campaign hands out Plain English awards to those "who have genuinely made an effort to present themselves using clear and concise English."
You'll find all the award winners for 2011 on the website of the Plain English Campaign.
More About Gobbledygook and Plain English:
- Plain English
- Rough Rules for Combating Jargon
- George Carlin's Essential Drivel
- 100 Words and Phrases That Ticked You Off in 2011
Image: Logo of the Plain English Campaign
Comments
Hard to believe, but certain dishonest companies purposely instruct their attorneys to draw up legal documents to be hard to grasp and ambiguous when scrutinized in court proceedings.
May Mother English–and Daddy Ethics–soon smite them all.
Another word I hate: starting a sentence with “Basically…” regardless of the sentence topic. Also, using “Me and so-and-so” as subject of a sentence. Too many kids nowadays use these grammatical pet peeves. They hurt my ears.