The same list shows up on almost every jokes site on the Web--"Fifty Ways to Fail an Exam":
- Come into the exam room wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
- Play frisbee with a friend on the other side of the room.
- Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, and continue with the exam.
- Get a copy of the exam and then run out screaming, "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"
- Bring along some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
- At some point during the exam, start crying for mommy. . . .
The funniest thing about the list may be the disclaimer that usually accompanies it: "You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only."
What's not so entertaining is the prospect of actually having to take an exam: composing an essay on an assigned topic under strict time limits with your final grade hanging in the balance. That's hardly the ideal writing environment. But it doesn't have to be as stressful and menacing as it sounds.
Forget Bluto's advice ("start drinking heavily"). Instead, have a look at our Top Ten Tips for Taking an Essay Exam. Caution: this list isn't meant for entertainment purposes. And you really should attempt these things during an actual exam.
More About Composing Essays:
- Tips for Composing a Successful Essay for the SAT or ACT
- 400 Writing Topics
- How to Write a Passing Essay for a Standardized Test
Image: John Belushi as Bluto Blutarsky in the movie National Lampoon's Animal House © 1978 Universal Pictures
Comments