Ridicule and Contempt (continued)

In our previous report, we looked at an online promotion for a grammar course--a system that promised to improve "grammar and communication at record speed by focusing on the most common mistakes."

One of the odd things we noted was that the ad itself was littered with these very same "embarrassing mistakes."

So what was this? A humorous marketing strategy? Some sort of Mad magazine parody? Perhaps a clever deconstruction of prescriptive grammar?

Apparently, none of the above. The ad was certainly not addressed to anyone who might be interested in learning more about language: "we don't waste your time with boring rules and definitions." And it boasted that the grammar program had nothing in common with "fluff-filled courses" offered by schools and colleges.

Instead, with its "tons of quick and easy shortcuts," the system promised to give us "the final word on when to use who vs whom," an "enlightening" way to avoid confusing "affect" and "effect," and a trick to prevent the "fatal mistake" of falling for "the prep trap." In other words, this "ultra-crash guide to powerful style" is apparently just another usage manual--a fairly cheap ("a crazy $17"--if you order "in the next 8 minutes") descendant of such works as Henry Alford's A Plea for the Queen's English (1864).

Not that there's anything wrong with that, as Jerry Seinfeld might remind us. After all, About Grammar and Composition also has its prescriptive moments. What's distinctive about the "complete grammar system" (besides its indifference to copy editing) is the cruelly judgmental sales pitch.

What will happen, for instance, when you master the strategy for distinguishing "affect" and "effect"? According to the ad, "You'll be laughing under your breath at people every day when you know this one."

Master a list of commonly confused words and "you'll sound articulate and intelligent." But beware:

WARNING! When you catch people misusing words don't tell them--it will only hurt their feelings--you can be quietly confident that you have superior communication skills.

What a sad little enterprise this is. As if avoiding "a handful of mistakes" could, in "7 minutes a day," transform a person into an effective communicator "so you that [sic] can enjoy the life and career you have always dreamed of."

Let me suggest a somewhat different and more challenging approach to "mastery of written and spoken communication." Please visit these pages (at no charge and with no guarantee):

• The Characteristics of Good Writing
• What Is Grammar?
• The Write Attitude and Your Writing Goals

If you have endured this lament to the end, you may be curious to see the ad I've been complaining about. To do so, simply Google the quotation that's in the first paragraph of this post, and then follow the first link. I'll be interested to hear what you think about the promotion: share your thoughts by hitting the "comments" button below.