Composing a Holiday Newsletter

Picture yourself by a crackling fire, reading a family newsletter. It's from your brave friend Jocelyn Dunbar, writing on behalf of husband Clifford and children Kevin, Jacki, Kyle, and Khe Sahn:

Many of you, our friends and family, are probably taken aback by this, our annual holiday newsletter. You've read of our recent tragedy in the newspapers and were no doubt thinking that, what with all of their sudden legal woes and "hassles," the Dunbar clan might just stick their heads in the sand and avoid this upcoming holiday season altogether!!

You're saying, "There's no way the Dunbar family can grieve their terrible loss and carry on the traditions of the season. No family is that strong," you're thinking to yourselves.

Well, think again!!!!!!!!!!!

Except for the cliches and the run of exclamation points, the Dunbars' holiday letter promises to be disturbingly unconventional--and so we read on. For once, a family newsletter does not disappoint. Bleak, offensive, and perversely amusing, "Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!!" is anything but boring.

One of six short pieces in the David Sedaris collection Holidays on Ice (1997), Jocelyn's letter manages to avoid the number one fault of such compositions: endless, mind-numbing bragging. Perhaps that's because the Dunbar family has so little left to brag about.

If you're looking for something to help you feel better about your own quirky family, read David Sedaris. But if instead you'd like some advice on how to compose a family letter that friends will read and enjoy, consider our Tips for Composing a Holiday Newsletter.